Saturday's Internet Edition, July 05, 2008. Windmill Willy by Russel Philips - Comedian Jeff Foxworthly has made a name for himself coming up with what qualifies a person to be a redneck. When boredom gets the best of us during this time of year with feeding livestock being the only cold weather work we make ourselves tolerate, it leaves too much time for thinking. And with Jeff telling the world what makes a redneck, I will give my best shot at “You might be a Country Hick if You might be a if your canteen is a plastic milk jug You might be a if your shoes are laced with bailing wire You might be a if your commode doubles as an aquarium You might be a if feed sacks are your primary source of toilet paper You might be a if the mailman delivers the mail with a wheel barrow You might be a if you get more change out of the offering plate than you put in You might be a if more dogs than people get out of your pickup You might be a if all you have in the shower is Flea Shampoo You might be a if vacationers ask to be photographed with you You might be a if your bathtub doubles as a spare, guest bed You might be a if your tool box is a five gallon bucket You might be a if a panhandler hands you a dollar as you walk buy You might be a if some passing stranger tries to buy your hat for its’ rugged look You might be a if teenagers ask how you got your pants to look that worn You might be a if you know the difference between possum and coon stew Cabin Fever may be better known in parts far north from our Southwest Texas, but when cold drizzle settles in these canyons, we don’t venture far from the fire. And that is the only excuse I can offer in my defense for such nonsense.

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